Is the white car owner the "mobile toilet" in the eyes of the birds? How wrong have we been in this wave of popular color traps?
Don’t believe it when I tell you. I spent more than 200,000 yuan to buy a white Tesla Model Y in the hope that it would stay fresh and maintain its value. As a result, it became the designated public toilet for the birds in the community. When I look at it every morning, I see that the hood looks like an abstract painting, white, black, thin and dry, and it just needs to be signed with the artist's name. I originally thought I was unlucky, but when I checked, I realized, my dear, this is not unlucky. This is a precise strike filtered by big data.
The idle professors in the UK said as early as 2005 that a white car could pick up more than five pieces of "justice from heaven" a day, and the probability was several times higher than that of cars of other colors. On January 25 this year, a domestic second-hand car data platform directly quantified the damage: among the cars they evaluated, the probability of "abnormal corrosion spots" in the paint of white cars was 18% higher on average than that of other colors. Note that it is an "abnormal corrosion point" and the assessment report clearly states "suspected bird droppings corrosion". This is not like
Is the white car owner the "mobile toilet" in the eyes of the birds? How wrong have we been in this wave of popular color traps?
Don’t believe it when I tell you. I spent more than 200,000 yuan to buy a white Tesla Model Y in the hope that it would stay fresh and maintain its value. As a result, it became the designated public toilet for the birds in the community. When I look at it every morning, I see that the hood looks like an abstract painting, white, black, thin and dry, and it just needs to be signed with the artist's name. I originally thought I was unlucky, but when I checked, I realized, my dear, this is not unlucky. This is a precise strike filtered by big data.
The idle professors in the UK said as early as 2005 that a white car could pick up more than five pieces of "justice from heaven" a day, and the probability was several times higher than that of cars of other colors. On January 25 this year, a domestic second-hand car data platform directly quantified the damage: among the cars they evaluated, the probability of "abnormal corrosion spots" in the paint of white cars was 18% higher on average than that of other colors. Note that it is an "abnormal corrosion point" and the assessment report clearly states "suspected bird droppings corrosion". This is not like buying a car, this is like buying an open-air spittoon to take home, the kind with strong acid.
The thing that breaks my defense the most is not the bird. It is a complete and silent "conspiracy" behind this.
When car companies sell cars, what do they call white? "Pearl White", "Alpine White", "Glacier White", the names are more fairy-tale than the last. They are spotless in the commercials, traveling through urban forests or coastal roads, showing that elite style. The salesperson will tell you that this color looks great, is safe, does not absorb heat in summer, and is the most valuable item in the second-hand market. But he would never give a warm reminder: "Sir, if you choose white, you may need to prepare an additional paint maintenance fee and ten minutes of wiping bird poop every day."
I just want to ask, those car designers and marketing department bosses, don’t they drive white cars themselves? Don't they know this "open secret"? Of course they know. But after all, how can white be sold as the absolute mainstream for 35% of the world and 50% of China? This "popular color marketing" plan was so loud that I could hear it in the garage. They used data, aesthetics, and value-preserving myths to successfully "fool" half of our car owners into the most conspicuous targets.
Then what? Then the problem falls on ourselves.
The white thing about bird droppings is mainly uric acid crystals. Its acidity is comparable to low-grade sulfuric acid. When exposed to the sun, it will directly mark your paint surface. The Internet teaches you to use a damp cloth to soften it before wiping it off. It's easy to say. You are rushing to work at 7:30 in the morning, and you see the dried and hardened "gypsum" on the hood. Should you wipe it off or not? If you rub it hard, the grit will scratch the paint; if you don't rub it, it will corrode and pit. This daily "dung beetle multiple-choice question" is the exclusive daily anxiety of white car owners.
Even more amazing is the follow-up. When you look for a solution, you find that the industry chain has long been closed. Car clothing stores, crystal-plated beauty shops, and various cleaning agents known as "specialized in bird droppings" are all waiting for you. Even the WD-40 official had to clarify on January 23: Our products are not mainly used for this, you'd better use professional ones. Co-author We are like NPCs in the game, following the popular color route set by the car company, and then accurately triggering the "guano attack" copy, and then obediently sending gold coins to downstream industries.
This is not a color issue at all, this is a consumer trap. Car companies have worked together to package a "high maintenance cost" attribute into a "high-end, popular, and smart" choice and sell it to us. They make away with sales and profits, and pass the cleaning costs, time costs and risk of paint loss onto the car owners.
Looking at the Tesla forum in the past two days, some car owners have signed a petition asking the official to provide additional maintenance services for the white car paint. I think the direction is right, but the layout is too small.
We should ask more directly: Can we upgrade the paint formula to a truly anti-corrosion "anti-bird poop white" when we change the model next time? Or in the car purchase contract, write the clause "This color may be more likely to attract bird excrement and requires enhanced maintenance" in bold font next to "vehicle color"?
Birds are ignorant and defecate everywhere. But isn't it a bit unethical for car companies to put half of the car owners in a situation where they are more likely to be "scammed" and still keep silent about it?
My white car is still parked downstairs. Tomorrow morning, it will be a new "art work". But at least now I know that I am not fighting alone. I am the "chosen dung beetle" certified by a scientific report from 20 years ago and the latest used car data.
This feeling is quite abstract.
