The so-called secret to car maintenance is half of IQ tax and half of psychological massage

To be honest, every time I see this article about "internal maintenance skills", I feel that the sun is going to stagnate. What are internal skills? It’s like the secret of the immortal cultivation sect. It seems that if I learn it, I can make my broken car ascend in the sky. Stop pretending and showdown. These so-called techniques are essentially a precise psychological massage for middle-aged men's anxiety, making you feel that you are not driving, but practicing and communicating with a soul.

Let’s talk about the first item, change the full synthetic engine oil after the first protection. This is true, the classics are all in the classics. Every time the sales consultant of the 4S store mentioned this to you, he always looked compassionate, as if you didn’t change the full composition, your noble engine iron heart will have a myocardial infarction tomorrow. Is it good to have all synthesis? OK, of course good. But what is the essence of this behavior? It is faith recharge. It’s like a Taoist priest tells you that ordinary incense can only keep you safe, but if you put on our 888 incense, it will go straight to the sky and listen to the Jade Emperor personally stamp it on you. What you change is not the engine oil, but a kind of self-hypnosis that "my car deserves better". For those car owners driving Tesla, do you tell him about engine oil? His eyes look at you as if he is looking at a three-body person, full of compassion.

Then there was the hot car, saying that I had to wait for 15 seconds before leaving. These 15 seconds are simply a performance art full of ritual sense. As a middle-aged man who has been repeatedly beaten by life, I have exhausted all my cultivation when I can get up on time every morning. Do you ask me to take a car and count 15 seconds silently to meditate on the same car? The guy who delivered the takeaway next door rushed out two streets of electric car. What you protect in these 15 seconds is not the engine, but your fragile heart that desires to control everything. You feel that you have overcome entropy increase and delayed depreciation through this ritual. In fact, the universe does not care about the piston ring of your car at all. This is a modern version of prayer, except that the object changes from God to an internal combustion engine.

As for what to avoid long-term idle speed, it is even more heavyweight. If you say you have to turn off the engine in more than 3 minutes, otherwise the carbon deposit will make you feel angry. The person who wrote this must have never been stuck on the East Third Ring Road during the evening rush hour in Beijing. A red light is 99 seconds, and a row of cars in front is soaked in place like a compressed towel. Are you turning off the engine? When you fire again, the car behind you is already making you doubt your life. This is not a driving skill at all, it is a ruthless mockery of the modern urban transportation system. As long as it is blocked for a long time, any engine will have carbon deposits, and it will be useless when Jesus comes. It's like persuading a person in the ICU to smoke less. The truth is right, but it's full of inappropriate sense of humor.

There is also the one who slows down through the pit, which sounds extremely correct. But what is the reality? The reality is that you never know how deep the next pit is, just like you never know how outrageous the next boss who draws you a pie is. It's too late to see it. The best defense is not slowing down, but driving a tank. The chassis and suspension of the car are its golden bell-covered iron cloth shirt. When you open it every day, you will always be destroyed. You carefully avoided a hundred small pits, and then on a dark and windy night, you were taken away by a sewer without a manhole cover. So, instead of studying how to overcome the trick, it is better to study which insurance company has faster claims.

I have to say this when I parked the car and returned to the right steering wheel. Because I really do. But my reasons are different from what they said. They said it was to protect the steering system and avoid uneven stress from the pull rod. fart. The real reason is that when you get on the car next time you see a straight steering wheel, you get a huge, cheap satisfaction. This is a victory of a erotic habit, which makes you feel that although life is a mess, at least when it comes to parking, you are an impeccable and decent person. This spiritual victory method is ten thousand times more important than protecting the trolley. Damn, driving is a worry!

It's even more interesting to clear carbon deposits at high speed. This is simply the "fasting and health preservation" in the automotive industry. I was in a state of depression for a month, and I ate a stomach full of "junk food" (driving at low speed), then I found a weekend to drive to the highway to "pull" so that the engine could experience the speed and passion and expel the "toxins" in my body. This is not a carbide, it is clearly a car owner’s indulgence. You feel that you are worthy of this car and you have fulfilled your responsibilities as a master. After writing this, I feel like an old Chinese doctor. I have been taking the pulse for a long time and prescribed a lot of health prescriptions. In fact, the core sentence is: Cars are consumables, don’t be too much of a gift from our ancestors. To be honest, you can't get on the highway a few times a year, so why are you trying to do it?

Finally, drive according to the characteristics of the transmission to avoid violent start. This sentence translates to: Don’t always think about being the Akima Mountain Bike God. Today's car companies all blow their gearboxes like any door, with smooth gear shifts and smart logic. As a result, if you kick the accelerator, it will directly perform a "thinking about life". Only when you are gentle to it can it be gentle to you. This thing is not a gearbox, it is clearly a PUA master. It is taming you and adapting to its rhythm, its logic. One day, when you drive a friend's car, you step on the accelerator and jump out "scared" and you will still feel uncomfortable and feel that the car is "flipped" and not high-end enough. You see, you've been transformed by it.

So after all, these so-called techniques are half science and half metaphysics. The greatest significance of their existence is to give you an illusion that this industrial creature consisting of thousands of parts and destined to decline is under your control. But what is the real law of competition in the car circle? It's the table. When your opponent is still asking you how to maintain it, you will directly hit the price until you break it, and use a configuration order that you cannot refuse to take you away with the person and the car. If Xiaomi had brought the cake away before, then Ledao didn't even let go of the candles on the table. In such a dark forest, do you have to worry about whether the car is hot or 30 seconds? Is it really important? Of course, the most important conclusion is that no matter how well you maintain a Wuling Hongguang, it will not become a Mercedes-Benz. So, these techniques ultimately protect not your car, but your illusion of "I can drive this car forever." This kind of love is really special. When you love a brand, you will understand.

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